I must say that I am justifiably proud of my erections. Not every man can say that but I can.
I started them when I was about 15. Of course it was late in life - most begin much earlier even as young as twelve - but in all fairness I really didn't have much interest until them. Ah, but when I got interested, I really got interested. Most of my family were unimpressed. My brothers were both priests so naturally they figured I'd follow suit. Priests! There's no enjoyment in being a priest. Not much opportunity for erections if you are a priest!
So I told my parents simply but firmly, the big things in my life are going to be my erections. It was non-negotiable. Upset my mother a bit I think, but I reckon my father actually looked a bit proud when I told him. Maybe he didn't have much time for priests either.
When I met my first wife, the first thing she said was how big my erections were. I don't think I'd be stretching the point to say that her eyes fair bulged. Then I met my second wife and she admitted that my erections were the things that drew her to me. She wanted someone who was destined for big things, she said, and from what she saw of me, I was that man.
So now, after many erections, I have a family of two wives and between them seven children. I could never have done it without my erections. I owe all my happiness to them.
And just to top it all off, like icing on a cake, I am actually getting a medal for my erections. Now hows that? Even my mother looked pleased when I told her. Her son, getting a medal - at a big ceremony too - for his amazing erections. I guess I'm kind of the King of Erections!
Anyway, the ceremony is tomorrow at the Sphinx which is, of course, my biggest erection to date.
Who'd be a priest when you could be a builder huh?